Al Case

Case History 13: Jamestown...And the Babe of the Year!



Posted: Wednesday, February 08, 2012

by Al Case
http://www.alcasebooks.com/

1609, and Jamestown is having a heckuva time! It is a long, cold winter, and the colonists are starving! Starving and dying by the score, actually, and them friendly type Indians ain’t helpin’ none!

First, you see, the winter comes, and the colonists can’t leave the fort because of them durned savages. It isn’t that the savages are just plain mean, they have to eat, too, and all the livestock that was penned outside the fort makes for a wonderful stew. So the Jamestownians are dying by the score, and one colonists stated, “So lamentable is our scarcity that we are constrained to eat dogs, cats, rats, snakes, toadstools, horsehides, and what not.”

In addition to the afore mentioned diet, one other staple has been put on the table. One fellow decided to eat his wife. Whether this was to put her out of her starving misery, or to just supplement his own bag of vitamins and minerals we won’t ever know, but he was put to death for probably the first instance of New World Cannibalism..

Moving along, it’s 1613, let’s discuss that Native American Wench, Pocahontas. Pokie (as her friends would never call her) was lured onto a ship and held hostage. This was to enable an exchange of hostages, as a bunch of Jamestown menfolk had been captured by her father, the chief Powhatan.

The hostage exchange went well, however, and Pokie was released. Interestingly, the Jamestownians felt bad about the way the Indian lass was treated, and they gave her daily bible lessons. Eventually Pokie would go for the white religion, and she was baptized Rebecca.

But, not only did Pokie go for the white religion, she went a whitie! That’s right, you are cordially invited to the wedding ceremony of Rebecca ‘Pokie’hontas and the farmer John Rolfe. While the wedding does bring an end to the Indian hostilities (Papa Powhatan is the big chief, after all) the participants claim that it is a marriage of true love.

Interestingly, (I know I keep saying that, but it IS interesting) Pokie was taken to the Old World. There, she toured and met all sorts of interesting people, including Capt John Smith, whom she hadn’t seen for some ten years. The tour ended a little prematurely, however, when Pokie died of smallpox.

‘Pokie’hontas, age about 18, saved the colonists from starving, saved the leader of the colonists from getting his head bashed in, saved the villagers from being wiped out by her father Powhatan. This in a time when there were virtually no women in the new world. Does anybody mind if this writer nominates her for ‘Babe of the Year?’

You could go to The Daily Neutron. You don't have to, but you could. You have that ability, you know. TheDailyNeutron(dot)com. 
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